Jai juste envie d'écrire. Cela ne devrait pas poser de problème et pourtant je ne sais pas trop ce que j'ai envie de dire.
Transmettre, communiquer tout en faisant semblant de se taire.
Frapper les touches, les caresser ou bien les frôler, les massacrer.
Les mots ne me viennent pas, je n'ai jamais su écrire. Mon français est médiocre, sans couleur, sans finesse. Ma culture est celle des magazines féminins.
je peux faire illusion, hélas! Illusion romanesque mais illusions perdues.
Mettre cet article en ligne pour ne pas oublier que l'écriture, quelle que soit sa nullité est une catharsie, une biafine pour plaie brûlante. L'écriture, une échappée qui ,même lorsqu'elle n'est pas belle, développe la capacité à exprimes, à expulser. L'accouchement se révèle fort difficile, le nouveau-né peu attirant ni prometteur mais la délivrance est réelle.
Pourquoi publier? Ecrire ne suffit-il pas? La publication ajoute-t-elle, apporte-t-elle une dimension supplémenatire? Même une publication sans lecteur?
Publier pour garder une trace? Pour se relire en oubliant que l'on est l'auteur de cette niaiserie? Pour mettre de la distance,
Publier pour être lue, démasquer...
Jamais personne ne viendra lire cet écrit et me reconnaîtra. je n'existe pas, je ne suis pas celle que l'on croit. Celle???
Je ne cesse de taper, est-ce le geste?telles ces cigarettes qu'on ne peut cesser de consumer alors que la nicotine coule déjà dans nos veines. Est-ce le toucher telle une caresse qui jamais ne devrait cesser? Est-ce simplement cette résistance, cette sensation d'existence sans distance?
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