Les giboulées de mars tombent en avril et le sol se couvre d'une épaisse couche blanche. Les toits rappellent la neige et s'envolent les projets d'un solitaire dimanche.
Mon cerveau est malade, il a trop fumé, trop réflèchi et pas assez aimé. Mon cerveau est un âne car il a oublié que les plus belles scènes ne se rejouent jamais. Un sevrage prochain lui permettra-t-il de retrouver un univers serein? Les vacances annoncées lui permettront-elles d'oublier ces divins moments partagés?
Je continue à écrire, ne voudrait jamais m'arrêter. Cette sensation folle qu'on n'a pas pu tout dire, qu'on s'est mal exprimé. Je continue à poster des articles qui répétent toujours les mêmes mots, des articles inutiles qui se répondent, se contredisent.
Je voudrais lui écrire mais je ne peux lui dire que parfois mon amour est si fort que je ne le supporte plus et que d'autres fois, il me semble si mort que je ne me souviens plus.
J'ai une certitude, celle de mon bien être quand je suis avec lui. J'ai une certitude, celle de mon refus de partir vivre avec lui. J'ai une certitude, celle de mon plaisir quand je suis avec lui. J'ai une certitude, celle de mon refus de quitter ce que je vis.
Alors? Que va-t-on devenir? Où va-t-on? Questions ressassées, réponses répétées et toujours continuer parce que personne ne sait s'arrêter.
Partager ces moments hors de la vie banale, hors du quotidien redoutable: boire un verre, flâner, ne rien faire, regarder un match. Moments trop agréables pour qu'ils puissent être l'occasion de mal être véritable. Vivre ces moments est en soi agréable mais les vivre ensemble les rendent admirables.
Le soleil a retrouvé son éclat, la blancheur s'en va
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